It's been a stretch for me!

This past Tuesday we dropped Morgan off at Camp Heartland, for those of you that are not familiar with Camp Heartland, it is a camp for HIV+ kids, siblings or kids of a parent that has HIV. Araya's doctor recommended it! I will link the website for those of you that are interested in learning more about how the camp was founded...very amazing story! Araya and Syfah will go in July for a fun -filled week.

When I contacted the Camp, we found out that they had a need for some leaders. Since Morgan turned 16 (June 16), she decided she would like to help out! Morgan went through the process of an application and interview. She was selected to be an LIT (leader in training) for 2 weeks in June....so a little disappointed that she wouldn't be at Camp when her brothers would be there, she decided to go for it.

We learned that although CH main goal is to help HIV kids, they also have decided to use the facility for other week long camps. Morgan found out that she will be helping out a week when the camp is hosting "kids in transition," which means "homeless". It is a chance for the kids to get out of the city, some deserved attention and a week away from the stress.

Morgan called today! She is doing well. I must confess this has been tough for me as a parent. When we dropped Morgan off last week, I had this feeling of despair, as though I was leaving her in a situation that I was so "not in control of"! It was not a good feeling. I have prayed more for Morgan this week more than ever! I have had to put my trust in others, people that I don't know really anything about. I have even asked myself, "what was I thinking?" She did not know one person, but, she wanted to do this! I knew that I needed to support her! Today when she called, she said, "Mom, I have met some friends, one from L.A, one from Indiana and another one from out East, I also miss you, and miss my house, but I know this is the right thing for me." She said she has lots of fun stories to share....I can't wait! We will pick Morgan up on July 5th, I have a feeling she will have grown immensely!

I have done a lot of thinking this week, I know this is the beginning of my kids, "branching out, experiencing life, growing up, etc." These are the small steps we take as parents/kids in preparation for "the future"........I just didn't realize it would come so quickly.....enough rambling now...I must get to bed!

http://www.drury.edu/multinl/story.cfm?ID=5508&NLID=224

http://www.doubleknot.com/openrosters/vieworgpagelink.asp?orgkey=979&linkkey=6119

A year ago already!

I can't believe that one year ago Troy was in Ethiopia, meeting our new son and getting ready to make the journey back to Minnesota! We were talking yesterday as Troy, Araya and I picked strawberries. Araya looked at me and said, "why have I never picked strawberries?" I said well, "last year the girls and I picked strawberries while Dad was picking you up in Ethiopia!" "oh yeah," he said. All these firsts have made it an exciting year!

As I look back I am really thankful that "we made it." I knew we would and I know it isn't good to wish the time away. I am just relieved and thankful that, "we are where we are." I also am loving the fact that Araya is talking about the things that he found challenging and is able to laugh about it...just last week he said, "remember, when I was going to walk back to Ethiopia?" Oh yeah, "I remember it like it was yesterday." I said. He also asked, "are we going back to the cabin this summer?" I said, "do you want to go back?" he said, "yeah, I was not a good boy last time." ( If you have been reading this blog for a while, you may remember we cut our vacation short last year)

We have learned a lot from Araya, we have learned to love this boy who has the best laugh ever, with a smile to boot! We have learned that Araya is sensitive, loving, stubborn, artistic, smart and has a heart for others he meets! He asks lots of questions and requires lots of answers...that is good!

We cannot think about the time that we did not have him...we were not complete. As I look back at God's timing in all of this I am constantly amazed and in awe of his faithfulness and love he has shown us and continues to show us! I have discovered that there is a HUGE difference in parenting boys and girls....there is perks to them both and a few lows too. I am glad I was a little "trained in" by the girls before God blessed me with MY boys.

As I have said over and over this past year, "dealing with Arayas health issues and numerous doctors visits, have not been the challenges we have faced, the challenges have come with parenting 6 kids, and the feelings of inadequacy we feel at times."

I get a lot of questions regarding future adoptions and adding to our family. I will never say never, I love kids, I love being a mom......I will say though that God would have to bring us to that point and make it crystal clear.....I think there is a constant feeling of "excitement, anxiety, anticipation," when you begin the process, when you are in the middle of the process and at the end of the process of adoption.....it's what you focus on.

I am ready (I think) to start to work on other areas that need "tuning and defining," but more on that later.......


John 14:18
18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

ALL IN THE NAME OF FASHION

On Thursday I had the priviledge of taking Morgan and her two great friends Megan and Sarah shopping. Morgan will be 16 this week and with everyones crazy schedules we took a day and went shopping and out for lunch.....I have to tell you that I am getting old, I was utterly shocked at some of the attire that seems to be in fashion.

For those of you that know what a "onesie" is, I remember it being something I put on my kids when they were infants....well look at these! No, the girls did not buy these, but, they did say if they would of been a little cheaper they would of...HELP!

(YOU CAN FIND THESE AT MACY'S FOR $29.99)

THESE WERE "NORMAL" DRESSES!

It was a fun day with much to laugh about!!

HALLELUJAH!!

I am rejoicing in the fact that today is my official last full day of work for the remainder of the 2008-2009 school year...does that make sense? After today, I am part time in June, off much of July and hours to be determined in August...I am so excited that I can hardly stand it!!

Syfah called me this morning at 8:00 a.m. at work and said, "mom, what can we do? I want to play wii, Araya wants to watch a movie, we are bored?" Well, I said, "get outside, it's a beautiful day!" I think they regret that they called me at work....they will learn quickly!

We have a very "low key" summer! Not too much planned, we are hoping for a weekend trip away, but we will see.

-Syfah and Araya are going to Camp Heartland in July, Camp Heartland is a camp for HIV+ kids and their siblings.

-Morgan had an interview last week with them (Camp Heartland) and should hear anytime. She would be going as a LIT (leader in training) and would go at the end of June for 2 weeks. It would be a great opportunity for her.

-Morgan also has her first job. She will start next week at the Early Childhood Center, it will be about 10-18 hours a week which will be great....(some spending money is nice)! She is very excited!

-We are having a garage sale on June 18 and 19 and Seble and Shelby have been getting ready for that.

-Morgan, Seble, Shelby and Corbin will also be helping with the summer Sunday school program at First Baptist.

-Morgan will get her license this summer...........yeah!!

-Troy is playing golf with some guys from First Baptist on a Wednesday night league..(I am excited for him to do something that he enjoys)!

-I can't forget the days at the dentist, doctor appointments, eye appointments!!!!

REALITY IS: SUMMER IS GOING TO COME AND GO TOO QUICKLY!!! LETS ENJOY IT!!

SPIN CYCLE

Do you ever wonder "what to do"? As parents we are facing a "situation-learning opportunity" with one of our teens journey (it really is going to be fine, seriously not a major but a minor) ........but it is something that has needed our attention pretty regularly. It has taken energy and time and I still feel as though we are far from over it......this is just one of those times when I wish I had the answers, actually I think I have the answers, but, they are not well received. This is one of those times when I would like to move to a remote location, and not have to deal with it......become a "hermit family"....nah...it's just not me/us! What would that solve? ....a temporary fix? .....maybe? Troy and I have spent time praying, and trying to let the situation pass, it just doesn't seem too....and when we look back, we should of handled it differently from the beginning....and wish we would have, but that isn't helping us now!! I really am beginning to understand more about the "fine line-big line" between being a friend and a parent. Being a friend sometimes feels better, being a parent is more work. ......oh well, this is going to pass and I am going to be so much wiser.

NEED TO CLARIFY:

-THIS ISN'T ANYTHING THAT WE DON'T ENCOUNTER AS PARENTS...I (WE) WILL SURVIVE, IT JUST FEELS BIG, FAT AND UGLY.

-THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO SOUND AS THOUGH I AM AIRING OUT THE DIRTY LAUNDRY.......I AM JUST IN NEED OF THE "SPIN CYCLE" TO STOP....:)

Winding down!!

The last couple of weeks have been filled with school projects....I figured out a couple of weeks ago that we have now completed 6 dioramas of Charlotte's Web. (I wish I would of kept all of those and just let the next one use it...hee hee, I guess that would be cheating!) Every year the 4Th graders read Charlotte's web, then they complete the diorama! (sorry Araya..no picture)

A week ago it was the culture fair, as you can see from the pics, my kids enjoyed it...I am glad it is over! We made a different meat dish from, Spain, South Korea, Thailand, Cambodia and Taiwan!!

We have 2 days left with the kids at school!

Big Mistake!

Oh my word! I do not get the "Mother of the Year Award". My girls asked if we could go to a movie last weekend...well, Star Trek did not appeal to them or I..(the boys saw that one). Night at the Museum was not one we really wanted to see either. The girls said, "can we go and see, Ghost of Girlfriends Past?" I looked it up- it was rated pg-13. I looked up why? I am not sure what I was reading but the reviews I read were not what I saw and heard. My friend Sarah went with us, we had the Theatre to ourselves....should of been the first sign!!

Matt McConaughey, Michael Douglas, Jennifer Garner were in the movie, I like all of them, however the movie was a terrible inuendo filled story of selfishness and bad choices. I actually kept thinking, this can't keep on like this, I kept waiting for the redeeming moment of the movie. It happened...the last 5 minutes, o.k. maybe 10.

I will tell you this movie did bring out some interesting conversations.....we actually could of left, probably should have. As we have talked about the movie throughout the week....because I was sort of "traumatized by my lack of better judgement." I am seeing that we can use so many situations as learning experiences and conversation pieces.....this was one of them....so, while I still am pondering my decision to "stay or go" I am thankful that I have 4 girls that understood that we (I) made a mistake and we can learn from it....

p.s. I would not recommend the movie...if you haven't figured that much out.

We gave it 1/2 star out of 5, and that would be a stretch! !

THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE WAS THE 80'S MUSIC, and the girl that wore the 80's hair scrunchies....she did make us laugh!